After Three Years and Five Months....

Unbelievable to look and realize that I simply stopped blogging, and for no reason. And tonight is not a great time to restart (this morning actually, 12:50 a.m., drinking a shiraz and eating camembert cheese). November 2nd now, Monday in Japan, and I should be getting ready for bed.

So much has happened since my last entry, the temptation is to delete all the old entries and pretend I'm just starting out in the world of blogging. Where to begin...? My children have both graduated from university and are working in the States. My father passed away in 2013. My mother has a caregiver during the day, and my brother lives with her now. I retired at the end of March, 2014, at least for awhile. I bought a used copy of Eric Clapton's 2010 CD Clapton. My latest Facebook friend is a woman who plays rock guitar. I met her tonight at the Westside in Kita Horie. Her nickname is Mamo, and she like Sangria.

Life goes on. The profound mixes with the mundane and results in the daily continuations, routines, and the unexpected events which break them.

Once, decades ago, a group of friends and I made reservations at a new, trendy Italian restaurant in Seattle. The husband of a friend named Nancy was late, caught in traffic, and the restaurant didn't want to hold his seat. We complained, and he said in his Italian accent, "Life is vicious circus!"

It certainly is.

Diet, Day Four

Today is Thursday, day four of The Carb Lovers Diet and the last day of our Golden Week holiday. We specifically chose this time to begin the new diet because it gives us about a week to actually be grumpy without being in public. 

As of yesterday I've lost  4.85 pounds. The diet itself is still very doable. The food is not bad, and while you're supposed to drink a lot of water to stay hydrated, they have a special recipe for green tea concoction which includes fresh squeezed fruit juice. It's actually very good. 

Yesterday was spent getting new supplies for the diet. My wife went online to try to find some of the grains and seeds that we can't find in Japan easily, for example, pearl barley. For some reason you just don't see it in stores here. She also ordered unsalted sunflower seeds and polenta, the latter of which we've never even heard of before. After that, we went into Osaka tried to find some low fat cheese. Finding low fat anything in Japan is difficult. Of course, many Japanese foods are naturally low fat, but finding any kind of unusual or even slightly unusual western food is difficult. For example, we can find cheese, but finding low fat cheese is not easy. In the city, you can usually find something, but not necessarily the specific types of cheese you are looking for. For example, I can find low fat cheddar but that's just about it. Finding something like low fat cottage/gouda/feta cheese isn't possible. However, you can full-fat versions of most types of cheese, an improvement over what we could find when I came to Japan back in 1983. Then you were lucky to find any kind of real cheese. Velvetta was about the best you can get. 

Going into town yesterday was good for a couple of other reasons. My wife wanted to do some shopping at new store a co-worker had recommended. She was looking for a watch but couldn't find it, so she bought something else. While she was doing that, I went to Tower Records (yes there actually is a Tower Records still in Japan) and bought the new Paul Simon CD So Beautiful or So What along with the tribute CD for the earthquake victims in Japan, Songs for Japan. The proceeds from the latter go to help the Tohoku earthquake and tsunami victims.

Today is going to be spent hanging at home. I'll watch the Mariners/Rangers game, listen to music, and wash my wife's car (yesterday, I washed my car for the first time since I broke my arm): A relaxing end to Golden Week.

Catch-up time

So much water under the bridge....

A year ago today I was in a Japanese hospital recovering from two surgeries, including an emergency colostomy. Yesterday, I started a new diet to try to lose weight before entering the hospital again, on July 15th, to have a third, hopefully final, surgery to reverse the colostomy.

This goal of this "new" blog will be to attempt to document the diet and the days leading up to the surgery, of course the surgery itself, while at the same time addressing other issues permeating my life at this time:

• My 85 year-old parents' declining health, including my fathers rapid slide into dementia and my mother's severe vision problems. Foremost on this issue will be my brother's and my attempt to get them the care they need without losing their house and property.
• My children, both living in Washington state: My 22-year-old son, who graduated from Evergreen State College last year and has since been taking care of my folks living in the guest cottage on my parents' property, and my daughter, 21, a junior at Western Washington University.
• The inconvenience of having broken my right arm on April Fools Day.

First off, it's been a pretty crappy past twelve months. To recap: I missed almost all of first term in the 2010-11 Japanese school year, which runs from April through March. I entered the hospital on 4/09/10, and had the first surgery for Diverticulitus. An infection developed, necessitating the second surgery five days later. Then, on 5/06, my father-in-law passed away. I was released from the hospital on 5/26, and returned to work on a very limited basis on 6/21. Because of my health, my wife and I had to reschedule our summer visit back to the States to Christmas/New Years, and I spent the beastly hot summer recovering my strength at home. I went back to work, full schedule, at the end of August. When we finally did get back to Seattle, my parents' health problems dwarfed mine. We felt so sorry that we could do so little from Japan, leaving the bulk of work on my younger brother's shoulders and, of course, my son's: I don't know what any of you were doing when you were 22, but I know what I was doing and while it was a lot of fun, it wasn't very responsible, the reverse of my son's situation. Finally, the reversal surgery was scheduled for the two-week spring break marking the end of the Japanese school year, but after going in for blood tests and camera work and five days before the surgery was scheduled, my doctors revised their original estimate of recovery time from two weeks to possibly four, meaning I would again risk missing the start of a new school year. I felt I couldn't risk putting my school through that again for what is basically elective (but really REALLY desired) surgery, so we postpone it till summer, meaning we will once again be unable to get back to the States for summer vacation. And then April Fools Day came, and on the 2nd I'm back in the same hospital, seven days shy of the one-year anniversary of my first admission (and just four days and one workout after joining our local health club/fitness center!).

And yes, typing with a broken arm is no fun at all.

Finally, the diet: My wife and I are trying out The Carb Lovers Diet. We are doing the "7-Day Kickstart Plan" over the Golden Week holiday. Yesterday's menu was as follow:

• Breakfast- Banana-Nut Oatmeal, coffee, and the last of some bottled sports drink.
• Lunch- Express Lunch Plate (a wedge of low-fat cheddar, a sliced-up apple, and some crackers)
• Dinner- Chicken Pasta Primavera
• Snack- Almond Butter Crackers
• Lots of water all day

Overall, not too bad. Oatmeal with nuts and fruit is one of my standard breakfasts which I like a lot. The lunch left me hungry, but my wife really liked it. Dinner was delicious, but a needed more prep time than the book indicated. Part of the reason is that I like to get all the preps taken care of before I start cooking. Also, I fried enough chicken for several of their meals, which we can freeze ahead. Finally, almond butter is hard to come by in Japan, so I made some from a delicious Rebecca Wood's recipe while I was preparing dinner. Finally, the snack of the almond butter on rye crisp-bread was great.

I forgot to weigh myself yesterday, but will do so today and post any weight loss as I go along. My doctor wants me to lose 15 kilos (33 lbs, a frankly unreasonable goal that would put me back at my high school weight). I'd be really happy losing 10 kilos (22 lbs, a reasonable goal and one I think I can obtain).

2010

 been a long time since I've rock 'n' rolled....

My trip to the States was important and meaningful, funny and sad. My brother Mark's illness meant I only saw him twice, on Christmas Day when he and his wife Ann came to our parents' house, and that Sunday when my kids and I went to visit him to watch a Seahawks' game. My parents are obviously having a hard time living alone since Dad's stroke, and so much depends upon Mark being able to make weekly trips out to see them, keep them stocked up with food and other necessities, whatever.

Right now, he can't do it. He went back into hospital on January 11th with serious complications from the pancreatitis. Basically, three "pockets" have formed in his pancreas which collect dead shit, poisoning him. He went septic, suffered internal bleeding, and had to be put into the Critical Care Unit in Virginia Mason Hospital. He survived, and has had several "procedures"; basically, he had two tubes inserted into two of the pockets, which drain the dead shit into bags, and a stent put in the third pocket where the shit drains directly into the small intestine (I think). The stent went in on Jan. 20, and remarkably he was released from hospital on the 21st, stent, tubes, bags and all. Needless to say, he's got his hands full emptying bags, cleaning the tubes, etc. On the plus side, he's home, with an appetite, and has gained back 10 of the 30 lbs. he lost when he first got sick.

He hasn't seen our parents since Christmas Day.

On top of everything else, my son's car bit the dust on his way to SeaTac to pick me up, so on top of everything else, I had to help him find a new car. This wasn't such a terrible task, and I have to admit it feels good that my son still somewhat needs my help. I also volunteered to drive my daughter up to her university at the end of my stay, which was also nice as I got to see her dorm room, meet her suite mate, and visit her local shopping mall.

My daughter and I also made it down to my son's home, met his girlfriend, and the four of us took in Avatar in 3D at his local shopping mall.

I did manage to get my parents and kids over to a dinner at my cousin's house, which was nice. My aunt has been living with them for several years, and it was good for my parents to visit with her again.

Oh, and I did manage to meet a couple of friends in downtown Seattle for lunch on the day we ended up buying my son's new car.

But the main realities were my parents' need, my brother's illness and my distance and isolation from them. There just isn't much I can do here in Japan other than to call several times a week to talk. I think once Mark gets more of his strength back and can get out to see the folks, things will be better, but as I told him today, he needs to put himself as his number one priority. He's pretty down about not being able to do more to help them now, but the truth is he can't.

Neither can I. We just all need to do what we can. It's 2010. Happy New Year.

Home for Christmas, Pt. 2

It's funny how things work out. I'm leaving for the States in four days, and already plans are beginning to solidify. An invitation for coffee with an old friend from high school now includes my daughter and a day of shopping in downtown Seattle. I suspect my son will join in, too.

It's been years since I've been in the city during the winter holidays (actually, it's been several years since I've been downtown at all!). Intellectually, I know The Bon Marche is gone, Macy's in its place, but I still expect to see Christmas in its windows. I'm not sure what street decorations will be up, but I assume there will be some. Still, I know things aren't the same as they once were.

Christmas Trees are now called Holiday Trees by some, and SeaTac Airport got sued by someone a couple of years back for having a tree up while not recognizing other holidays: Political correctness gone mad.

In a few minutes I'll be heading up to my school's auditorium to attend the Christmas Service for our 12th graders and 7th graders. The highlight will be when the seniors sing Handel's "Halleujah!" chorus. Of course, I teach in an all-girls private Christian school here in Japan, but I actually like the traditions of Christmas. It's the PK in me still.

One of my goals is to try to get my parents to a Christmas Eve service. They've pretty much stopped going to church: Mom's eyesight is almost gone, and Dad's hearing is shot. It must be hard on them, I think, not going to church, when their whole lives revolved around the church for so long.

So plans are being formed. I'll be back in four days.

Home for Christmas

It's been awhile since I've posted (the name of this blog IS appropriate), but it's been a hard couple of months. After my father suffered his stroke, I booked a ticket back home for Christmas.

That feels wrong to say. I've been living in Japan for 26 years, and in this house for 16. I've been married for almost 23 years. Home is here in Japan. I'm leaving home for Christmas. But the Pacific Northwest is where I came of age, attended university. It is where my parents live, my brother and his wife. I was 29 when I moved to Japan for supposedly one year. So somehow I'm always stuck with this dichotomy: Which is home?

My son and daughter are in university in Washington State. Is it their "home" now?

My younger brother, who has been taking care of my parents, was hospitalized for a week. He's home now, but still not close to 100%. My going back to the States for the holidays is more important than ever. It will be great to be with my parents, my brother and my children. But my wife is staying here in Japan to help take care of her own family.

So I'm going somewhere for Christmas. God help me, it still feels like home.

Aging

I guess one of the hard things about a blog is whether what you want to write about should be written about. Privacy issues abound. My parents are aging, and the ramifications are enormous for my brother Mark and me. My parents want to continue to live in their home, isolated in the middle of the woods on an island with only ferry boat access. Unless you have a stroke, even a small one, like my father suffered two weeks ago, and get airlifted off island by helicopter.

The question my brother and I wrestle with is how to keep my parents in their home, independent. I guess the answer is that we can't. We have to convince them to sacrifice bits and pieces of independence. For example, we want to get someone in at least fortnightly to clean the house for them. Dad does this himself now, and he does a great job, but it's just too much. He has to cut back.

Mom can't see, so Dad has to do all the cooking as well. This is not one of his strong suites. Still, he does admirably.

To compound things, my father-in-law is having his own health crisis here in Japan, and has had to be hospitalized. What we're going through as a family with him is at least as intense as what we're going through as a family with my father.

Of course, all of this seems like a harbinger of What is Yet to Come in our own lives. My parents are 83, I'm 55, only 28 more years to go! It is all too real.

But this is not about me, it's all about my parents and in-laws. What can we do to make their situations better?